HetaOni Obsession
by HundredPercentHetalian
Summary: To tell you first, that this isn't a story. It's a list of how to know you are obsessed with HetaOni, an amazing fanmade Hetalia video, that has been getting more than 100,000 views on the internet.


**A/N: I am proud to say that I am a huge HetaOni fan and if you love Hetalia, you HAVE to watch it. It's addicting as Hetalia. It's a horror mystery RPG game (that you watch on the internet) that's based off Japan's horror game "Aooni". You HAVE to watch it. It's intense, awesome ("Like me!" by Prussia) and heart-breaking. If you haven't watched it yet, go to YouTube and search it and watch it. If you already watched it all the way until part 17 1/2, go and read ahead. Oh, and one more. I refer to the monster/alien in that thing as "Tony". I'm not talking about America's friend "Tony". It's different. Got it? **

**Rated T for cussing and moderate violence and slightly M rated stuff**

**Past tenses and Present tenses are all mix up together….**

**I will apologies to all "Some-Character" fans if some of my comments piss you off**

You Are Obsessed with HetaOni if you:

Have seen the series from part 1 to 17 1/2 at least 3 times and remember what happened in each part

Get really pissed off at the name "Tony" no matter who or what it is

Know you hate Tony more than Justin Bieber (apology to all Justin Bieber fans)

Hear "Detective" and you think not "Conan", but "Canan" (Canada+Conan) since Canada is that awesome of a detective in that series

Hate yourself for not being able to help the characters out

Desperately want to break the screen

Think it's normal to want to go get a racket or a baseball bat or something destructive while watching HetaOni

Find out that the toilet suddenly seems like a really great place to you

See a giant mansion, and you start screaming

Want to give England a big hug and his vision back by giving away your own eyes

See America without glasses and think "THAT SHIT TONY GIVE TEXAS BACK!"

Are pissed off that the Nordics get mentioned, but they never come out

Actually think Belarus is kinda cute (…..WAIT WHAT?)

Know that it's Austria that's playing the background music and you want to cuss at him for making it sound creepy and intense

Want to hunt down Tony really bad

See random red stains on the ground and immediately start screaming

Think making fun of countries dying (such as Prussia) is NOT COOL AT ALL

Know that Russia's water faucet is not actually a faucet, but it's a secret sword that Japan made for him and you want to cheer for that

Want to find that mansion three hours away from the World Meeting Building and throw a bomb at it or something, rescue everyone, and then burn it to the ground with Tony in it

Think Italy isn't a useless wimp anymore, but a cool super-strong hero ("Hey what about me?" by America)

Think watching Hetalia after HetaOni is absolutely insane

Don't feel bad for America, Germany and England (and possibly Prussia) for their horribly drawn faces at the start of the series

Feel that Japan is an awesome country that will totally kick Tony's ass

See USUK or Island Countries (Japan+England) in the series and don't think it's wrong at all

Think it's normal to see Germany shaking in fear AKA Silent-mode Germany

Pray that Prussia won't die and he'll get out of that bitch of a mansion

Search pictures of aliens that looks like Tony on the internet, print it out, paint red all over it and rip it into tiny shreds and throw it in the fire pit

See Tony get his ass beat in the series and scream "HA TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING RETARD!" in front of your parents

Think it's totally fine to have your parents find you crying in front of the computer

Like, totally respect Poland and like, print out a picture of Tony and totally paint it pink XD

Know that Italy's now gonna have to reverse time anyway since Tony just ate Latvia (SHIT!)

Feel that France isn't just a pervert anymore but a great big brother to everyone

Actually feel brotherly love between the Italy brothers

Feel that Boss Spain isn't just a Pedo (apology to all Spain fans) anymore and is a cool Boss that will totally save Romano and himself out of that time-loop

Know that Spain and Romano is crazy lost in that time-loop and think "Geez, not even Austria can't get THAT lost"

Actually think Ukraine really is a great big sister (…WAIT WHAT?)

Think Korea is totally kick-butt and awesome

Shocked that Switzerland is actually HELPING other countries

See Tony hated by all HetaOni fans and think "HA TONY YOU ARE LOVED BY NOBODY HOW DOES THAT FEEL HUH!"

Started screaming at the part where they get to the place with a bunch of Tony in a cage no matter how many times you watched it

Start hitting yourself in the head because you're a worthless bitch that can't do anything but watch

Scream "NO DON'T GO IN THAT MANSION DAMN IT DON'T GO IN THAT MANSION!" every time you see someone go in the mansion

Can't walk around the house at night anymore unless you have a weapon beside your bed

Hate the mansion for existing as much as you hate Tony

Get a water bottle, draw a Tony face on it and squish it and stamp on it and stab it with a mail opener screaming "DIE TONY DIE!" completely ignoring other people staring at you (I actually do this at school with by other HetaOni lover friends)

Ask your mom if you can borrow a paper cutter for a few minutes

Made a voodoo doll of Tony and used staplers on it since staplers looks like it hurts a LOT more than pins

Want to rip up any picture that has something that looks like Tony on it

Want to live in "Castle Germany" (the secret room that Germany built)

Cried more watching HetaOni than the "America's Storage Cleaning" episode

Find it really hard to think that America actually won independence from England since they barely have any fights in the series

Want to start a "I HATE TONY" club at your school

Stated doodling pictures of Tony and characters in your notebook and/or sketchbook

Started practicing drawing blood

See a clock and have a desperate urge of wanting to break it

Are proud that you have searched up every HetaOni MAD that you can find and you can hum the songs

Want HetaOni to be Anime-fied or Movie-fied desperately and willing to put every allowance you have to the making of it

Think HetaOni will make an awesome Anime or Movie and think everyone (except for cold-hearted Hetalia haters who don't even deserve to watch) will cry

Will think HetaOni Movie will certainly make blockbusters

Suddenly changed your mind about whatever future dream you had and decided to become a Movie or Anime producer in order to create the HetaOni Movie or Anime

Define Tony as "Rotten-Scone-Colored Naked 'Fucking' Giant" ("Hey!" by England)

Have your life motto is "MAKE PASTA NOT WAR!" and "DIE TONY DIE!"

Watch HetaOni repetitively and know what's gonna happen but cry anyway

You want to destroy the mansion even before the characters even get there in the first time-loop

Can name heroic deeds of every character in HetaOni (I personally can, except China since he didn't exactly do anything yet….)

See Hetalia characters more hotter than ever

Hear "Holy Roman Empire" and think not a tiny and huggable kid with Chibitalia, but a super-hot dude in a flower garden with grown-up Italy

Hear "Rice Balls", "Beer" or "Chili Pepper" and think "IS DA BOMB"

Hear "Toilet" and think "Is an awesome place where you can buy food"

Want to make your friend watch HetaOni purposely, because you cried while watching it and you want them to cry too

Hide an iPhone or an iTouch or an iPad under your pillow so you can watch HetaOni during night time when your parents think you're asleep (but bad idea...)

Ripped off your earphones while watching HetaOni since you weren't able to stand the background music anymore

You can hum some of the background music

Weren't able to sleep after getting in bed for at least three days after having a HetaOni marathon

Pray to God every night that they'll make it out alive

Actually feel bad for Korea for being stuck with Austria and Switzerland

Imagine yourself beating up Tony

Wish that Hungary will totally beat Tony butt with her frying pan

Hope Liechtenstein won't get killed by Tony REALLY, REALLY BAD

Are willing to give your own life away in order to save theirs

Think you have never hated your computer screen for existing this much

Want to sleep next to one (or two) of the characters after seeing the part where they all sleep on the floor next to each other

Screamed "GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY SCREEN I'M GONNA GO IN AND KILL THE BITCH OUT OF TONY!" while crying hysterically in front of your parents

Tell your history/geography teacher that he/she has to tell you where you can find a giant mansion that's three hours away from a World Meeting Building NOW

Feel great pain when seeing America's friend Tony in the Anime and apologies a little

Know you're totally screwed when your parents find you coloring everything red in your sketchbook because they'll think you've gone emo

Had a great urge of wanting to grab your iPhone/iTouch/iPad/computer and smash it against a wall

See a mansion and want to ask the policeman/woman around you "Can I go burn it down?" and if he/she replied no, start screaming and crying "BUT I HAVE TO SAVE EVERYONE! AT LEAST LET ME GET IN THERE AND KILL TONY!" ignoring how embarrassed your parents/friends look

Are ready to go in that mansion, kill Tony, save everyone and die

Feel you're gonna go on a rampage if the person who created it left it unfinished like RomaHeta (I hate how they didn't finish it…..)

Wanted to raid the creator's home to threaten him to make part 17 2/2 NOW

Love HetaOni more than RomaHeta, HetaQuest, and any other Hetalia based RPG game you have ever seen

Go to or and continuously look for HetaOni fanpics

Found out that your history/geography grade is getting higher because you love Hetalia, but also you saw HetaOni and you thought "The least I could do for them is do history/geography like I mean it…."

Wanted to take Tony's vital regions and screw it up (okay, M rated…)

Scream whenever the characters die in the past time-loops

See the scene in the past time-loop where Japan finds Prussia but he forgets to lock the door and Tony comes in and Prussia dies and screamed "PRUSIAAAAAAAAA! JAPAN YOU BASTERD, LOCK THE DAMN DOOR! NOOOOOO!" in front of your parents/your teacher/your friend/public

See England (past) save America, Germany, and Italy (present) in the past time-loop and screamed "ENGLAND NOOOOOO! I LOVE YOU! DON'T DIE!" (I did and I'm proud of it)

See Germany (present) talking to dead Italy (in second time-loop that England reversed) and cried ignoring the people around you looking at you like you're crazy

Hear "Expecto Patronum" or "Sectumsemptra" and think not "Harry Potter", but "Iggy Potter" (I might have spelled the spells wrong….)

Were shocked at Russia for talking creepy stuff over the phone when normally, you would've expected it because you will think, "Hey, it's Russia."

Can now actually recognize Canada in the screen and if you don't see him, think not "Eh, he's just being invisible as always" but think "AHHHH! WHERE THE HELL IS CANADA!"

Started cussing when you normally don't after seeing England and America cuss repetitively in English Subbed (Yeah, true "Gentlemen"…)

Know that the only thing that will make you laugh while watching HetaOni is the comments that other people listed (those are HILARIOUS)

Know every time you see Tony, you think "DIE!" (and vice versa)

See the part where America saves (well, TRIES to save) England and felt like giving America a great big hug and freaked out when America got attacked by Tony

Loved the part where Japan and England worked together to stop the giant Tony in the annex

See the part where Prussia saved Germany in the escape tunnel (well, DESTORYED escape tunnel) and thought "YEAH PRUSSIAAAAAA! YOU'RE TOTALLY AWESOMEEEE!"

Officially made yourself a Italy fan

Think that the reason they ended the Hetalia Anime series (WHY?) is because Italy isn't a wimp so they can't do "Hetalia" anymore because it won't make any sense with Italy not being a _Hetare _(Japanese for "Wimp")

See England lose his sight and started screaming "NOOOOO!ENGLAND! NOOOOOOO!" (I did)

See Germany dying in the first time-loop say "I'll make you run ten laps…" and thought "I'LL RUN INFINITY LAPS SO DON'T DIE!"

Tried to make yourself stop crying by thinking of favorite Hetalia scenes which made you laugh and cry at the same time which is two times worse than what you have started out with

Want to make yourself a fan-made Hetalia character that can totally kick ass and go beat the hell out of Tony

Scream anytime Tony appears out of nowhere

Love Austria for talking to Italy over the phone

Completely freaked out when Tony attacked Italy and his heart stopped beating and screamed "ITA-CHAN NOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T DIEEEEE! YOU CAME THIS FARRRR!" and went on a rampage

Are willing to KILL (someone else than Tony) to watch HetaOni part 17 2/2

Were sobbing at the part where Italy realized that he isn't alone and he's going to escape with everyone (that part is tear-line breaking and so heart touching….)

See America thinking that he'll risk his life to save England and thought "FREAKING SHIT AMERICA DON'T DO THAT!"

Were freaked out when Italy told America that he got his shoulder bit off (wow…..)

See England and Japan working together to beat giant Tony in the annex the hottest thing ever

See Canada wanting to risk himself to get Texas back from Tony and thought "CANADA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SO DON'T DO THAT! I'M BEGGING YOU! KUMAJIRO STOP HIM!"

Wanted to give America a giant hug when he started talking about how he saw Canada and England dying in the past time-loops (so heart breaking….)

Spazzed out when England "vanished" XD to the annex in order to beat giant Tony and America chased after him

Completely freaked out when England attacked Tony all alone in the annex

Keep screaming "OMG WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE STOP ACTING ALONE!" every time a character acts alone

Feels that MochiMerica (that piece of mochi that was stuck on the wall) is really cute (….WAIT WHAT?)

Don't feel any embarrassment when you suddenly break down in public because you just had a flashback of the most saddest scene in HetaOni

Suddenly start preaching "No one's life should be sacrificed! Every one's going to live! Every one! No one's life should go to waste! Oh, except Tony. TONY DOESN'T DESERVE TO LIVE!" in public and you feel fine with people staring at you like you're insane

Are proud that you can't study for tests anymore with war in it

Kick and scream while your parents tell you to get the heck off the computer

Won't get off the computer no matter how much your parents threaten you

Try to convince your teacher that for movie day, we should totally watch HetaOni because it's FAR more educational than what they are planning to watch

Kinda feel bad for China for not having any spotlight at all

Almost started screaming when Russia and China went in the annex and saw Russia X China in it at the same time and you tried to force down a laugh

See USUK in it so much that you can't stop thinking "The creator must be USUK fan as well…."

Hear "Torture" and think "Lv. 79"

Hear "Holy Cross" and think "Prussia rocks it"

Hear "Curse" and think "Japan is the best at it"

Hear "Expecto Patronum" and think "What's England's Patronum?"

Hear "Machinegun" and think "WHERE THE HELL DID ROMANO LEARN TO USE THAT?"

Hear "Polar Bear" and think "Kumajiro's the most destructive"

Hear "Lv. 10" and think "Then Kolhoz is gonna get even stronger so Russia can totally kick butt right?"

Hear "Bows and arrows" and think "Why does Canada even need it?"

Hear "Flower garden" and think "Holy Roman Empire lives in it"

Are kinda convinced that Holy Roman Empire reincarnated into Germany (my friend strongly believes in this….)

Find a song that fits HetaOni like crazy and you are willing to make a MAD no matter how long it will take you

Remember "The Seven Colors Of HetaOni" by heart and love it like crazy

Constantly e-mail your friends HetaOni MADs

Are willing to learn Japanese so you can watch it without subs (I'm Japanese and I'll tell you, it's better without subs)

Squealed like a little girl when you saw your favorite character's face graphics improve when England "cleaned" Castle Germany (Me personally, England)

Are an America fangirl and you loved it when he was smiling with Texas off

Are a England fangirl and you almost fainted when seeing England's smile

Are a Japan fangirl and loved it when he beat crazy strong Tony butt all on his own in episode 4 or something

Are a Prussia fangirl and freaked out when he was hearing weird voices

Are a Russia fangirl and loved the part where he was talking to Belarus (True big brother….)

Are a France fangirl and kinda angry that he doesn't have a lot to do

Loved the bond between America and Canada (Made me teary…)

Changed your mind about your dream house being a giant mansion

Begged to your parents to return the new furniture that they got and it was white

Tried to destroy every white furniture you had in your house

Stopped taking piano lessons saying that "It's where Japan died and I can't do this anymore!"

Know that the Bad Friends Trio (France, Prussia and Spain) is extremely good at raising kids (Someone teaching England….)

Are crazily searching for a mansion to burn down

Hear that Japan just got hit by an earthquake, tsunami and Nuclear Power Plant problems and thought "Okay, I'm gonna get in there and stop Tony while the other countries are saving Japan…." In fact, hear any natural disasters in countries and think the same thing

Hate your friends for not crying while watching HetaOni

Searched for a tomato while watching HetaOni in order to throw it at Tony

Are willing to create HetaOni Anime or HetaOni Movie

Squealed like a 4 year old when Holy Roman Empire came out

Are constantly checking YouTube to find HetaOni part 17 2/2

Can't eat scones anymore since they all look like Tony

Had to go grab a tissue to stop your tears, and then a bath towel, and then a bed sheet

Are kinda scared about being in your house all alone

Suddenly felt interest in learning how to use a rifle

Pop balloons imagining them as Tony's head

Your "Favorite" List is filled with HetaOni MADs

Are willing to jump in that mansion no matter how much the risk

Scream "YEAHHHHHH!" every time something good happens

Are eating pasta everyday wishing for everyone's safeness

WANT TO GATHER EVERY LOVE YOU CAN GET AND SEND IT ACROSS THE SCREEN TO THE CHARACTERS

KNOW THAT EVENTUALLY, IT WILL END WITH A HAPPILY EVER AFTER


End file.
